One of the misconceptions about forgiveness is that if you forgive the person – you are letting them off the hook. That somehow forgiving them lets them be free and the Gods will smile upon them. This couldn’t be further from the truth. The person who has harmed you has his/her baggage to eventually deal with. What you sow, you reap.
Many are called to forgive but few heed the call. Many choose to remain in prisons of their own making and move through life without an ounce of joy or peace. It is a hellish place to live. Day and night, they carry the memories, the pain and the wounds of the past that rob them of so much in the present. A part of you may wonder ‘How can I ever forgive what they did to me?’ one thing that might change your mind is to realize that holding on to all that pain doesn’t hurt anyone but you. For those of you who can’t or won’t forgive – you are only affirming that the other person has more power and value than you.
Let me state something very clearly here – to force your perpetrator of admitting wrong will be a life long battle and a battle you won’t win. Majority of people who harm others will not admit or confess any wrongdoing and some of them have no remorse for their actions. Reconciliation with the person in question is a long shot unless the person has enough awareness to know better. Your ability to forgive is not dependent on the other person’s apologies but your ability to rise above and do it because you believe your life will be better and healthier as a result. I will remind you that your capacity is greater than you think or else forgiveness would not be one of your lessons to master in this life. Forgiveness is one of the agents of Divinity. In all of human literature, the hero or heroine, encounter challenge and betrayal, pain and suffering, and through it, they become great men and women.
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Now forgiveness of the person does not imply permission to abuse or hurt you again. Forgiveness is about your own sense of well being and peace. This journey is about your own evolution as a person and as a soul. Once real forgiveness has transpired within you then the person will no longer affect you. You may cross paths with them but you will walk on by with only understanding and peace.
Our journey on planet earth is a constant unearthing of our Divine potential. Sometimes the best way to unearth divine potential is by extreme measures or circumstances. So we’re all in good company. All of us are on the same divine potential boat. We must learn certain lessons and embody certain qualities that can only come about through conflict and pain. Let’s be frank – when we’re happy, we have no need to go searching for higher truths or knowledge. It is only when pain enters our lives that we feel compelled to heal it or go in search of its meaning. Therefore, pain and suffering have a divine purpose in our lives.
What makes forgiveness so difficult is that we tend to think or believe that it is a sacrifice, a giving in, losing our ‘rightness’. We tend to feel that it somehow discounts our pain. This is a myth. You forgive because you want to be free and at peace. You value yourself enough to do it for yourself and only for yourself.